I had my Intacs surgery on Wednesday, July 13th. I dont see a difference at all in my vision, but they did say it can take up to 3 weeks to see a major change and it takes a full 6 months for the final results. Still, i find myself worrying. I dont even pray for success in the operation, i pray for the bigger problem at hand, which warrants greater attention: my unbelief. I cant even pray for miracles in healing, because i strongly believe that if its God's will its God's will, if not, well, then its just a fact of life. Crappy things happen. But God says theres the gift of healing. So if i claim to believe in Him, i must believe everything He says. I cant pick and choose. And for now, i can admit, prayer for healing is not where it needs to be in the least. Well, i didnt do this blog for that, but i did want to provide an update as i know many have asked and i am humbled by the concern.
So....
I've been getting them lately, but the weird thing is, I don't cry. Oh, i can cry for others, its this thing called being empathetic that i got down really well, even though i often wish i didnt.
Let me ask you, why do you think you're so special and you were born with the freedom to read this blog? To even own a computer or have access to one? Do you think it was so you could die with it all to yourself? Or do you think it was for something greater? Something great, something beautiful.
Whether we want to see it or not, we are blessed. We have privileges so many dont even know of or can even imagine. Did you get to eat breakfast or lunch, or even go outside? A/C? Shoes?
I think i find myself crying, not only because i have become distant in the principals of a "good christian" (e.g. bible reading, prayer, etc.) but because i have grown distant to the purpose of my life. Which is actually the same purpose as yours ;o)
To Love God, love our neighbors, and spread His message to all people.
- The Great Commandment: Love God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. Matthew 22:3 The second, Love your neighbor as yourself.
- The Great Commission: Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; teaching them to obey all that i have commanded you, and surely i will be with you always until the end of days.
I am feeling the void of why I was created.
Its time to get refocused.
Time to stop wasting my blessings on another dress in my daughters closet, another toy for my son.
Time to stop wasting my blessings on more sleep.
There's an organization that can definitely use my time to combat sex and labor trafficking. There's another human being that can really use my love and support. There's a child who can really use some shoes and maybe, just maybe a toy. There is God who desires to talk with me.
Read these true stories of people who need you and me from the 2011Trafficking in Persons Report conducted by the US Department of State:
Look on these people and ask yourself if we're not truly blessed. I must stop focusing on what is limited and start fulfilling my purpose. Our purpose. You will see the tears of grief stop and the majesty of God all consuming start.
Saying "I love you" is only a few words if not backed up by demonstration.
I dont want to wait till its too late to examine my life and ask if I could have shown Him that I truly believed what I said i believed. The road is narrow, few will enter.
By the way, i love you too, thank you for taking the time to even care what i have to say. Honestly and genuinely, i really do love you too...thank you God for giving me a glimpse of Your love.
BTW Here is an updated photo of the boys from the Boy's Home with Aids in Mumbai, India. They look pretty great in this photo <3 Practicing the moves we showed them during a small Karate lesson. Will you take a minute to pray for them, please.
